Philosophical Pickup Lines
Generally speaking philosophy is actually a super good for picking up women if what you want to do with them is dicuss philosophy.
The Emperor's New Clothes
"There are no fact, only interpretations" is such a funny quote coming from Nietzsche because his philosophy itself has been subject to some of the worst interpretations of all time.
Nietzsche On Women
That young man asking him? Arthur Schopenhauer.
The Doctor and the Great Philosopher
"Also, what the hell kind of advice is that? Aren't you a doctor?"
Nietzsche Fights the Law
The Will to Power, chapter 1: Parking tickets, they are really annoying, am I right?
Nietzsche Faces the Modern Age
"Many die too late, and some die too early. Yet strange soundeth the precept: 'Die at the right time!' (after reading internet comments)"
As John Searle once said: "Nietzsche is like drinking cognac - a sip was good, but you didn't want to drink the whole bottle."
Nietzsche and Wagner
Wagner: "also, watch out, your friend Paul Ree is a jew." Nietzsche: "watch out for...what exactly?" Wagner: "just watch out..."
Nietzsche Gets a Bad Performance Review
"Yeah, but probably only like...sheep and followers are good at the jobs, when you think about it..."
Thus Spoke Zarathustra
"You know what, screw you guys, you obviously don't get me. Nobody gets me!"
Nietzsche Takes a Student
"Imagine, the universe is going to recur eternally over and over again, and you will somehow never get any less stupid."
In Which Friedrich Nietzsche is a Fan of the Cleveland Browns
Also, Wagner is a Steelers fan and I'm rooting for them out of spite.
Philosophy Round Table: Human Nature
Man is the animal that watches stupid TV shows.
In Which Nietzsche Learns the True Meaning of Christmas
A true Übermensch spends Christmas miserable and alone, as everyone knows.
Nietzsche at the Bar
Nietzsche, later on, writing aphorisms: "Let's see, how you can express that you hate women in a way that sounds deep..."
Kant Goes to Poker Night
"Wait, but isn't stealing also wrong, according the the Categorical Imperative?" "Ah, common mistake, you are applying the maxim too broadly. The maxim of what we are doing isn't 'stealing', it is 'getting one over on Nietzsche', which as you know is not only morally permissible, but in fact a moral imperative."
Friedrich Nietzsche: Director of Human Resources
Eventually Nietzsche built his team of 100% Übermensches. It was a total disaster, of course, as everyone did their own thing. But obviously, it was all the fault of the slave morality of the consumers.
Nietzsche tries speed dating
"That which is done out of love always takes place beyond restraining orders." "It really doesn't, Nietzsche."
The Bar Fight
Not shown: Camus triumphantly rebelling against the absurd by picking up a woman at the bar.
Although Sartre was obviously in bad faith when he said that Nietzsche has a terrible mustache, because come on.
Sorry! And the Nature of Suffering
It is better to not even begin playing the game, as it will only lead to suffering and misery. Plus, last time I played Hegel ended up winning, even though he totally didn't deserve it.
When you think about it, any club can be a fight club with enough spirit.
Philosophy News Network: The Death of God
Make sure to join us at 11 for our shocking exposé on chairs. Do they even exist? The answer may shock you.
"But you made Care Bears creepy and weird" No. Wrong. The Care Bears were always creepy and weird
Silicon Valley Philosophy
Startup idea: it's like Uber, but for philosophy. You put in your location, and within 15 minutes a philosopher shows up to argue with you about the nature of justice. I call it Ubermensch
Eventually they figured out that Kafka was actually fired years ago, but due to a glitch in the payroll system he kept getting paid. So they fixed the glitch.
Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers V: The Battle of Five Philosophers
And that was the day that Utilitarians, Objectivists, Communists, and Egoists all united as one: to kill Nietzsche. And also they told him that their group was really hardcore and didn't allow re-rolling characters, so once you died you had to wait outside and not talk.
The Most Ubermensch Man in the World
Stay willful, my friends.
"So...can you help me get my purse back? I really loved that purse." "Woman's love involves injustice and blindness against everything that she does not love... Woman is not yet capable of friendship: women are still cats and birds. Or at best cows..."
Schopenhauer was chosen only because he's just really got that mad scientist look. I think it's the hair
World Cup Philosophy: Germany vs France
For best results, the commentator should be read in the voice of Michael Palin
The Germans Play Monopoly
I'm not sure what they expected, it was inevitable really.