Rene Descartes - Existential Comics

A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

Cartesian Pickup Advice

Cartesian incel: If your eyes have been deceived once (by a woman wearing makeup), then how can you ever trust your senses again?

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/584

Philosophy in 5000 B.C.

It could be worse though, imagine you were in a group of Theater Dorks and they were always trying to put on little skits and do improv to pass the time.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/577

A Brief History of Human Nature

Of course the real answer is that God, in His infinite wisdom, created humans to stare at computer screens for 8 hours a day.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/567

G.E. Moore's Nightmare

Moore, after he wakes up again: "oh no, I had a nightmare that I made an argument that just begs the question on the skeptical claims!!!"

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/502

Philosophical Ghostbusters

Rene Decartes watching Ghostbusters: "ahhhh, I see, the spirit world actually interacts with the physical world because of 'ectoplasm', it all makes sense now".

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/495

Meditations on Second Philosophy

Descartes: "Meditations on First Philosophy was so popular, i can't believe it. Everyone is reading my work! "

Descartes: "The publisher is really wanting a sequel, though. What else is a revolutionary philosophy? Hmm..."

Descartes: "I know, instead of practicing methodological doubt I'll try methodological belief! I'll practice believing absolutely everything. Starting with the fact that this is a brilliant idea."

Descartes: "I'll believe everything I hear, to see if I can find at least one fact that cannot be believed."

Person 1: "Did you know if you swallow a watermelon seed a watermelon will grow inside of you?"
Descartes: "I believe it."

Person 2: "Did you know alligators live in the sewers because people flushed them down their toilets?"
Descartes: "Seems reasonable to me."
Person 2: "Also the earth is flat."
Descartes: "Why not?"

Person 3: "The best way to help poor people is to give more money to rich people."
Descartes: "I believe th- wait...what? how?"

Person 3: "Because then they'll hire poor people to do work, and the wealth will trickle down."
Descartes: "Are you stupid?"

Person 3: "No, actually it's all based on math. Check out this graph, it explains why the poor deserve to suffer."
Descartes: "Alright, well i found the one thing too stupid to believe."

Alternate title: "How Descartes Became a Communist."

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/398

Desert Island Philosophy

Description: four philosophers are on a desert island.

Thomas Hobbes: Well, we really have a problem. We've crashed on this island and i don't see much food around."

Kierkegaard: "Yes, we do have a problem..."

Kierkegaard: "...what is the meaning of life?"

Descartes: "What? That's not our problem Kierkegaard, our problem is that we need to establish one certain fact on which to build our framework of knowledge, otherwise how do we even know we are on a desert island at all?"

Wittgenstein: "That's not our problem, Descartes."

Wittgenstein: "Our problem is that â€œwe have no foodâ€, is a negative fact, which we can't empirically verified--, because we can't do that without observing that there are no further facts to observe, which is impossible."

Descartes: "No, Wittgenstein, once we ground our-"

Hobbes, shouting: "Everyone shut up! Do you idiots not understand how dire the situation is? If we don't form a society we will all be in a war of all against all, and certainly starve."

Descartes: "Ahh, I see, Hobbes. So you are saying our problem is how do we form a new society based on rational principles?"

Hobbes: "Exactly. I suggest we form a constitutional monarchy."

Descartes: "But who will be the Monarch?"

Hobbes, waving a large stick at the others: "Isn't it obvious? The one with the stick is the Monarch. Now get to work looking for food!"

"But how do you justify your idea that we all need to follow the man with the stick?" "I'll give you a one guess..."

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/375

A Brief History of Metaphysics

Also...everything is facts.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/250

Philosophy News Network: The Evil Demon

"Oh, but also, the Star Wars Prequels were good in the real world. Like, even better than the originals. I made up Jar Jar Binks out of boredom, sorry about that."

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/227

Philosophy Round Table: Human Nature

Man is the animal that watches stupid TV shows.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/242

The Amazing Descartes

And for my next trick, I will move my body around using only my soul! But my soul is immaterial and my body material, how I am doing it? Magic. That's how.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/214

Philosophers at the Casino

Hume had been burned by Descartes before, but he figured that was no reason not to trust him now...

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/205

Cartesian Office

"Wait a minute...what if there is some kind of evil demon who is deceiving me into thinking God is necessarily good? Oh yeah, that's right, God wouldn't let that happen because he is necessarily good."

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/188

The Life of Francis

"You've got to always look on the bright side of life. Because any attempt to deduce the bright of life from reason alone will still rely on concepts gained from prior experience of the bright side of liiiiiife."

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/183

Jury Selection

If you've noticed any characters appearing and disappearing, it isn't because the artist is lazy, it is because an evil demon is deceiving you.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/155

Cartesian Roommates

Spinoza thinking about the keys like three days later: "wait a second, I don't even HAVE pockets!"

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/134

Star Wars: but instead of normal, it's with philosophers

They made some prequels, but it had this one really annoying character, Jar Jar Nietzsche, and they weren't very well regarded.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/103

Skeptiholics Anonymous

Does Sextus Empiricus have the sexiest name of any philosopher? Well, there is actually no way to know, so we should withhold judgement.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/93

Silicon Valley Philosophy

Startup idea: it's like Uber, but for philosophy. You put in your location, and within 15 minutes a philosopher shows up to argue with you about the nature of justice. I call it Ubermensch

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/86