A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

The Judgement of Jeremy Bentham

I don't understand why more philosophers didn't come to the conclustion that God is evil. Given the existence of spiders it seems an obvious fact.

Philosophical Pickup Lines

Generally speaking philosophy is actually a super good for picking up women if what you want to do with them is dicuss philosophy.

A Long Term Birthday Problem

Incredible coincidence that these effective altruist/longtermism dorks are always rich white guys living comfortably on the backs of the poorest and most exploited by the system, and they've discovered what is best for the world, and indeed the entire future of the human race, is to continue as is but give like 12% of their paychecks to charity or something.

Philosophically Arguing With the Ref

Still a better ref than the one in the actual game though, amirite England fans?

Brave Sir Bentham, Utilitarian Knight

After realizing his error, he killed himself. Not out of a sense of honor though, but because he calculated that it would cause the most happiness.

Philosophical Discussion Group

Jeremy Bentham: "Welcome to our philosophical discussion group. First question: Is it morally acceptable to steal bread to feed your starving family? "

Karl Marx: "Of course it is! And he should also do a communist revolution to abolish the system which forces some to starve!"

Philippa Foot: "What about this: a trolley is headed down a track to kill five people but you can divert it to kill one, what do you do?"

Karl Marx: "I would simply do a communist revolution to abolish the system were we must choose who dies for the trolley company's profit."

Judith Jarvis Thomson: "What if a master violinist-"

Karl Marx, interrupting: "I'd do a communist revolution to prevent whatever second half of that sentence was going to be!"

Judith Jarvis Thomas: "Marx, we've been over this. You can't just say “communist revolution” to everything, or we are going to have to ask you to leave."

Karl Marx, flipping over the table: "REVOLUTION!"

Judith Jarvis Thomas: "But nothing changed, the table is just upside down now."

Karl Marx: "The People's table is upside down."
"Trotsky, barging in to flip the table over again: \"permanent revolution!\""

Utilitarian Dictator

Also...we should probably ban philosophers that disagree with us, right? I mean we already have it figured out, so that can only cause problems."

Jeremy Bentham Designs a Prison

Jeremy Bentham: "You see, in a civilized society, the purpose of prison should not be punishment, but rehabilitation."
Foucault: "That sounds good."

Bentham: "When the prisoners first enter the prison, all of their old habits will need to be wiped away."
Foucault: "Smart, how do we do that?"

Bentham: "Well, we put them in solitary confinement! This allows them to quietly reflect on their thoughts and clear their minds."
Foucault: "Okay...how long does that last?"

Bentham: "Oh, i'd say no more than one or two years. You don't want them to still have left over criminal thoughts!"
Foucault: "Uh..."

Bentham: "And then when they join the rest of the prisoners, they will still have individual cells, so they can't converse with the other criminals. All the cells will be a arranged in a circle, with clear walls so someone standing in the center of the prison could always see what everyone was doing, at all times."

Bentham: "And in the center, a tower whose eye can gaze into each cell, but into which they cannot see. They will never know if the gaze of the tower is upon them."

Bentham: "The all seeing, all knowing gaze of the tower watches over them, ensuring at all times that the moral code of the warden is followed. None will dare misbehave for even a moment, knowing that the watchful eye of the law could always be upon them!"
Foucault: "Right...i don't know, doesn't it seem a little....supervillainy?"

Bentham: "What?! Why? What is supervillainy about that?"
Foucault: "uh...everything?"

Bentham: "Is it supervillainy to try to create a world with the greatest happiness for the greatest number?"

Bentham: "It is “supervillainy” to try to reform prisoners so they can return to society? Is it supervillainy try to educate them?"

Bentham: "Is it supervillainy to create an elaborate system of all encompassing surveillance and control that stamps out all dissent in order to creating a perfect world? A world with no ugliness, no pain, no vice, a world where all are forced to be happy!"

Bentham: "Okay, i did hear myself getting a bit supervillainy in that last one, but i still think overall it's a good idea."
"But you don't understand, they will be happy in the end to be subjugated completely to my will."

The Last Chance at Happiness, with Jeremy Bentham

What if being a Utilitarian makes you sad? We should probably kill all the Utilitarians just to be safe.

In Which Friedrich Nietzsche is a Fan of the Cleveland Browns

Also, Wagner is a Steelers fan and I'm rooting for them out of spite.

Utilitarianism Party

the problem with maximal happiness is that it's lame as shit

Terminator: The Simone de Beauvoir Chronicles

All machines are mortal, and each machine's particular death will be at the hand of my double-barrel shotgun.

Twelve Angry Philosophers

What? You didn't expect twelve philosophers to agree on something did you?

The Auto-Icon

The trolley driver swerved at the last second onto another track, so Philippa Foot had to kill him too. It was only then that she realized that she had become the monster that she fought so hard to destroy

Language Games: Philosophers Play Pictionary

Growing up in a wealthy home, Wittgenstein never actually saw a beetle as a child. When he asked his parents and relatives what a beetle looked like, they gave descriptions, but he could tell they didn't know either. As he grew older, he theorized that no one had ever actually seen a beetle. He told all his philosopher friends, who just got really excited and assumed that he was making a profound point regarding the nature of language. He was too embarrassed to correct them and simply pretended like that was what he meant all along. He still isn't sure what a beetle is to this day, or if they even exist at all.
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