Philosophy at a Red Light
And that, children, is why you NEVER act in such a way that you cannot, at the a same time, will to be a universal maxim.
"Ah, but have you considered that throwing him in prison now won't achieve anything, because philosophically..."
Seriously though thanks for the support over the years.
Immanuel Kant's Day Off
Later that night Kant finished what was possibly his greatest masterpiece: The Critique of Pure Fun.
Wait a minute, I don't care that at all, because the verification principle isn't making a metaphysical claim it is making a suggestion about how we should talk about things.
Captain Metaphysics and the Philosophical Zombie
"Yes, but what if the philosophy zombie can't feel any pain, and is only pretending to be a wimpy nerd?"
The Philosophy of Humor
What is comedy? It is saying the word "penis" very loudly.
Philosophy During a Pandemic
Utilitarianism: "do everything you can to prevent it from spreading." Deontology: "do everything you can to prevent it from spreading." Virtue Ethics: "do everything you can to prevent it from spreading."
Immanual Kant Writes His Dating Profile
"Is it always immoral to lie on your dating profile? I mean yeah...but come on guys, I've been on this site for like a year and havn't got any dates...there are limits to every rule."
Remember kids, nothing is cooler than following your moral imperative.
A Brief History of Metaphysics
Also...everything is facts.
An Ethical Dilemma Finally Resolved
"This is a strawman of Ayn Rand. She would have paid Augustine a fair price for that bread before throwing it in the trash."
And so Hume's skepticism was defeated. Or...was it? Can we really ever know? Dun dun dunnnnnn.
Captain Metaphysics and the Postmodern Peril
Strawman Derrida defeated again!
Kant Goes to Poker Night
"Wait, but isn't stealing also wrong, according the the Categorical Imperative?" "Ah, common mistake, you are applying the maxim too broadly. The maxim of what we are doing isn't 'stealing', it is 'getting one over on Nietzsche', which as you know is not only morally permissible, but in fact a moral imperative."
Immanuel Kant: the 40 Year Old Virgin
Earlier that night: "Is that really what you are wearing?" "Yes, men love huge feather hats. They find them very attractive." "Alright...whatever, let's just go."
Captain Metaphysics and the Extreme Skeptic
Philosophical ideas that can be refuted by punching: 1. Moral Nihilism 2. Moral Relativism 3. Scepticism about the outside world 4. Scepticism about causation 5. Denial of qualia 6. That violence never accomplishes anything
Rebel Without a Constant Conjunction
"Hey Dad, I need some advice on dealing with some trouble I'm in with the Transcendental Idealists." "Son, how many times have I told you not to hang around Transcendental Idealists? Why don't you hang out with that nice Empiricist boy from the church?" "Berkeley? He is such a loser!"
Captain Metaphysics and the Ship of Theseus
You face is suddenly looking a lot like a problem of Metaphysics, Kant.
Star Wars: but instead of normal, it's with philosophers
They made some prequels, but it had this one really annoying character, Jar Jar Nietzsche, and they weren't very well regarded.
Star Trek: but instead of normal, it's with philosophers
You'd think I would have called it "The Wrath of Kant", but no. I decided to use a way better title instead.
Captain Metaphysics and the Wizard of Elea
Plus, everyone knows it's a stupid thought experiment anyway.
Twelve Angry Philosophers
What? You didn't expect twelve philosophers to agree on something did you?
The Philosophy Superbowl
In many ways Wittgenstein is similar to Tom Brady, whose first Superbowl was also based on a mistake: the Tuck Rule. Also, they are both devastatingly handsome.
The only thing more unrealistic than absolute moral systems is her proportions
Captain Metaphysics and the Mereological Monster
Although when you think about it, it's probably still a monad
Captain Metaphysics and the Ghost in the Machine
It's one of the best kept secrets in philosophy departments that most, if not all, metaphysical problems can be solved by punching stuff really hard.
Immanuel Kant: Fresh Prince of Philosophy
It's a well known historical fact that David Hume laughed maniacally the entire time he was writing An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding.
World Cup Philosophy: Germany vs France
For best results, the commentator should be read in the voice of Michael Palin
Language Games: Philosophers Play Pictionary
Growing up in a wealthy home, Wittgenstein never actually saw a beetle as a child. When he asked his parents and relatives what a beetle looked like, they gave descriptions, but he could tell they didn't know either. As he grew older, he theorized that no one had ever actually seen a beetle. He told all his philosopher friends, who just got really excited and assumed that he was making a profound point regarding the nature of language. He was too embarrassed to correct them and simply pretended like that was what he meant all along. He still isn't sure what a beetle is to this day, or if they even exist at all.
Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers
About half the time spent on this comic was spent on figuring out how exactly Simone de Beauvoir's hair works, and it still ended up looking terrible. I make no apologies for Derrida's hair, however, for no artist alive can capture that glorious mane.