A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

Philosophical Pickup Lines

Generally speaking philosophy is actually a super good for picking up women if what you want to do with them is dicuss philosophy.

Extreme Skepticism

Did Pyrrho know how cool he was? Nah, he was so cool he didn't have to.

Philosopher's Cookoff

Host: "Welcome back to Philosopher's Cookoff, where philosophers try to create the best dish. Let's get back to the action. "

Host: "Hume seems to struggling with his risotto, I'm not sure if the rice will cook in time."

Host: "Meanwhile Wittgenstein just added, well something to his soup. I didn't see what it was but it came out of a box labeled “beetles”. "

Host: "And the Buddha seems to be not doing much of anything. I can't tell if he's panicked or has reached a higher state of enlightenment. "

Host: "Alright, time is up, let's see what the judges think."

Judge: "Hume, the dish is seasoned well, but your rice is way under cooked. "

Hume: "Yes, i took a risk, the dish takes 40 minutes to cook, i tried to cook it in 20. I was hoping the laws of physics might have suddenly changed."

Judge: "Buddha, what happened? You aren't presenting a dish? "

Buddha: "Yes, it is a metaphor for how desire leads to suffering, and we must empty ourselves of desire to achieve a higher state of being."
Buddha: "Also, i lost track of time and burned my souffle. "

Judge: "Wittgenstein? Where to begin... this tastes absolutely disgusting."

Second Judge: "Yeah, i agree, this is disgusting, what is in this?"

Wittgenstein: "Ahh yes, but when each of us say something tastes "disgusting", there is no way to know if we are all experiencing the same sensation."

Wittgenstein: "So while you've both learned to use the word "disgusting" to successfully navigate social situations and participate in language games.."

Wittgenstein:: "...internally you might be feeling different tastes, even pleasant ones, so the dish might be good!"

Judge: "No, i'm pretty sure it's just bad."
"When you think about it though 'you are a terrible cook, Wittgenstein' is just a move in a language game..."

Humean Seduction

Description: David Hume is at a bar with Albert Camus.

Hume: "Step back Camus, let me show you some Humean Seduction."
Camus: "I don't think i need hel-"
Hume: "Just watch and learn, Camus, watch and learn."

Hume: "Hey baby, have i ever told you my theory of how reason is slave to the passions?"
Woman one: "Get lost."

Hume: "Hey baby, have i ever told you my theory of how reason is slave to the passions?"
Woman two: "Fuck off."

Hume: "Hey baby, have i ever told you my theory of how reason is slave to the passions?"
Woman three: "Leave me alone."

Hume: "Hey baby, have i ever told you my theory of how reason is slave to the passions?"
Woman one again: "You already asked me that, and i said get lost!"
Hume: "Oh, shit, sorry."

Camus: "I don't get it, you just approach every woman you see until one of them say yes? This is your big secret?"
Hume: "Of course."

Camus: "But don't you want a real connection with someone?"

Camus: "Don't you want to make a genuine love and passion? To find someone who you can love their heart and all that they are?"

Camus: "And that eventually works?"
Hume: "I mean...it hasn't worked so far, but...one day i'm sure it will!"
Camus: "To find someone who when you are with them it seems absurd to not believe in eternity?"
Camus: "Someone who when you are with them you feel alive and without them you want to die?"

Hume: "Uh...not really, no."
Camus: "Oh."

Camus: "So what do you want, then?"
Hume: "I don't know... a blonde, i guess?"
Camus: "I see."

Hume: "So what line do you use to pick up women?"
Camus: "What? I don't use a line."
Hume: "Then what do you do?"

Camus: "Are you kidding? I'm Camus, the women use lines on me."

One of the women from earlier: "Hey Camus, have I ever told you my theory of how reason is slave to the passions?"

Woman: "No, why don't we go back to your place and you can tell me all about it?"
Camus: "Sounds great!"

Hume, yelling at them as they leave together: "Hey! That's my line!"
"Just because every girl I've ever witnessed in the past has preferred Camus to me, doesn't mean they will in the future!"

Humean Child Raising

Also...God isn't real, just so you know.

Hume and Avicenna

Thought experiment: what if we took other people's intuitions as seriously as our own?

Buddha and Hume

"Wait, I see what you are doing. You are trying to seem cool and aloof, because you know women like that." "No, Hume, once you realize the flesh decays and rots away, and physical beauty passes, you will realize that pursuing it cannot bring you lasting pleasure." "Lasting? I'm only looking for about five minutes!"

Sherlock Hume

Hey, just because I've always been wrong about every other case, doesn't mean I'm wrong about this one!

Philosophers at the Casino

Hume had been burned by Descartes before, but he figured that was no reason not to trust him now...


And so Hume's skepticism was defeated. Or...was it? Can we really ever know? Dun dun dunnnnnn.

The Life of Francis

"You've got to always look on the bright side of life. Because any attempt to deduce the bright of life from reason alone will still rely on concepts gained from prior experience of the bright side of liiiiiife."

Immanuel Kant: the 40 Year Old Virgin

Earlier that night: "Is that really what you are wearing?" "Yes, men love huge feather hats. They find them very attractive." "Alright...whatever, let's just go."

Rebel Without a Constant Conjunction

"Hey Dad, I need some advice on dealing with some trouble I'm in with the Transcendental Idealists." "Son, how many times have I told you not to hang around Transcendental Idealists? Why don't you hang out with that nice Empiricist boy from the church?" "Berkeley? He is such a loser!"

Skeptiholics Anonymous

Does Sextus Empiricus have the sexiest name of any philosopher? Well, there is actually no way to know, so we should withhold judgement.

Star Trek: but instead of normal, it's with philosophers

You'd think I would have called it "The Wrath of Kant", but no. I decided to use a way better title instead.

The Philosophy Superbowl

In many ways Wittgenstein is similar to Tom Brady, whose first Superbowl was also based on a mistake: the Tuck Rule. Also, they are both devastatingly handsome.

Philosophy Tech Support

Hello, customer complaints, this is Leibniz. Oh yeah? Well, this is the best of all possible customer support centers, so that can't be true

Immanuel Kant: Fresh Prince of Philosophy

It's a well known historical fact that David Hume laughed maniacally the entire time he was writing An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding.

The Problems of Philosophers

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