A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

The Invention of Philosophy

Description: Thales and his wife are sleeping in bed, he suddenly sits up and shouts: "My God, I've got it! What if we try thinking about stuff! "

Thale's Wife: "Go to bed Thales, it's two in the morning."
Thales: "Is it though? Maybe time is an illusion, did you ever think of that? Huh?!"
Thales Wife: "Whatever, just go to sleep."

Description: The next day Thales in drinking with his friends.

Thales: "Alright guys, we are going to try something different today. I call it: philosophy."
Heraclitus: "What is that?"
Thales: "It's where we think about stuff...and try to figure out the truth about the world."

Heraclitus: "Sounds weird. Can't we just drink and talk about who we want to have sex with, like usual?"
Thales: "No! We are going to try to find the truth. So...any ideas about the ultimate nature of reality?"

Pythagoras: "I don't get it. What are we supposed to do?"
Thales: "Like what about this, what if everything was actually composed of water?"
Pythagoras: "What, like...everything?"

Thales: "Yes, everything! Because water can take other forms."
Pythagoras: "Yeah but...even music?"
Thales: "Look, I just invented philosophy this morning, so lay off, okay? There are no bad ideas."
Heraclitus: "Ohh, I think I'm starting to get it. Like, what if everything was really composed of...fire. "
Thales: "Good, Heraclitus, and why is that?"

Heraclitus: "Because fire... can take other forms."
Democritus: "I get it, what if everything was composed of very small things?"

Heraclitus: "Is it because very small things can be arranged in other forms, Democritus?"
Democritus: "Exactly. Man, philosophy is easy."

Thales: "Alright guys, you can't just say “everything is composed of...” and then name the first thing that comes to mind. There is more to philosophy than that."

Pythagoras: "What if everything is composed of...numbers!"
Democritus: "Whoa, trippy!"
Heraclitus: "Good one Pythagoras."

Thales, angrily: "Alright, that's it, you've ruined it. No more philosophy. Philosophy is stupid and i regret inventing it. "
"What if everything is composed of regret?"

Thales Picks Water

Thales: "All things are from a single substance. All creation flows out of this substance, the multiplicity that you see are merely the various forms of this one substance."

Student: "So what is the substance that forms all other substances."
Thales: "Water."
Student: "Yes, but why water?"

Thales: "Well, you see if heat water up, it changes into air. If you cool it down it solidifies into ice. Water is clearly capable of changing forms."

Thales: "So uh...following that same logic...uh...under different circumstance it could probably change into a horse or whatever. Plus, most things are like...pretty wet when you think about it."

Student: "Yeah but....how does it change into a horse?!?"

Thales: "Look, you just don't get it. Water can be lots of things okay? Why couldn't it be a horse?"

Thales: "In fact, one time i saw water change into a goose."

Descriptions: students start to leave the lecture.

Thales, yelling: "Whatever, screw you guys, it's not like anyone else has any better ideas about the ultimate nature of reality!"
Thales, after looking around and seeing how many things aren't water: "god damnit."

A Brief History of Metaphysics

Also...everything is facts.

Thales Invents Philosophy

And yes, to answer your question, regrets are made out of water.

A Presocratic Get Together


But actually Pythagoras was wrong, the perfect joke is made of water because everything is water.

Jury Selection


If you've noticed any characters appearing and disappearing, it isn't because the artist is lazy, it is because an evil demon is deceiving you.

Ancient Greek Office


They all laughed, but Thales's bottled water company went on to become a billion dollar empire.

Hypatia of Alexandria and the Seven Presocratics



Later on, Socrates forgot that he poisoned the apple, and ate it himself. Plato had to make up this whole story about an apology, because it was just too embarrassing.
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