A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

Verificationist Man

Caption: "In a world rife with metaphysical
speculation, only one man has the
intellect, courage, and commitment
to verifiable science to do stop it... "

Caption: "...also, he was the only one who was a big enough nerd to care so much about stuff like that."

Caption: "He was, Principle of Verification Man!"
Description: It is Rudolph Carnap in a cape.

Carnap: "Hooray for science!"

Leibniz: "Mind and body coincide not due to causation, but because of a pre-established harmony ordained by God."

Carnap, slapping him: "That statement has no empirical content that can be verified by the sense, so it is...nonsense!"

Kant: "Reality is in itself unknowable, we can only observe the phenomenal world."
Carnap, slapping him: "Nonsense!"

Whitehead: "Reality consists of processes rather than material objects."

Schlick: "Only statements that are empirically verifiable are cognitively meaningful."
Carnap, slapping him: "Nonsense!"

Schlick: "Carnap, what are you doing? That's our theory!"
Carnap: "Wait...shit, no, hold on..."
Wait a minute, I don't care that at all, because the verification principle isn't making a metaphysical claim it is making a suggestion about how we should talk about things.

Captain Metaphysics and the Philosophical Zombie

Plato: "Leibniz, come quickly, something is terribly wrong with Kant!"
Leibniz: "What is it?"
Plato: "You have to see for yourself."

Description: Two identical Immanual Kants are sitting at desks writing philosophy.

Plato: "There are two of them!"
Leibniz: "Two Kants! Good god, one was bad enough. But where did the second one come from?"

David Chalmers: "It is I who has done it, evil David Chalmers! I have made a duplicate of Kant, he is identical in behavior in every way, but there is one crucial difference..."

Chalmers: "He has no consciousness! He is a philosophical zombie! Since you can't tell the difference in behavior, I have shown physicalism to be false once and for all, HaHaHaHaHaHaHa!"

Plato: "There must be a way to tell them apart. Kant one, what do you want from life? Happiness? Love? Fulfillment? "

Kant one: "No, I want to work on philosophical problems."

Leibniz: "Okay, Kant two: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

Kant two: "Because i would rather work on philosophy, obviously."
Leibniz: "The problem is Kant is already pretty devoid of consciousness. We need Captain Metaphysics."

All together: "With our powers combined!

Captain Metaphysics: "I know how to tell them apart!"

Description: Captain Metaphysics punching Kant one, then punches Kant two.

Kant two: "Owww! What the hell are you doing, that hurts!"

Captain Metaphysics: "The real Kant is that one, because he doesn't like feeling pain."

Leibniz, as they all start beating up Kant two: "Wow, you are right, this is a great way to determine who has consciousness!"
"Yes, but what if the philosophy zombie can't feel any pain, and is only pretending to be a wimpy nerd?"

A Brief History of Metaphysics

Also...everything is facts.

Captain Metaphysics and the Problem of Language


Yes, all problems of philosophy are problems of language, but it turns out that all problems of language are problems of punching, so...

The Philosophical Duel

Ironically, it is the best of all possible worlds where most people think The Monadology is stupid.

Captain Metaphysics and the Postmodern Peril


Strawman Derrida defeated again!

Philosophy Jeopardy



Things Schopenhauer hates: Hegel Noise Life itself Hegel Everything else

Captain Metaphysics and the Extreme Skeptic


Philosophical ideas that can be refuted by punching: 1. Moral Nihilism 2. Moral Relativism 3. Scepticism about the outside world 4. Scepticism about causation 5. Denial of qualia 6. That violence never accomplishes anything

Captain Metaphysics and the Ship of Theseus


You face is suddenly looking a lot like a problem of Metaphysics, Kant.

Gottfried Leibniz and the Quest for the Holy Grail



The French guy is being played by Voltaire, of course.

A very spooky philosophy Halloween


Camus came dressed as himself, because what is really scary is how sexy he is.

Star Wars: but instead of normal, it's with philosophers



They made some prequels, but it had this one really annoying character, Jar Jar Nietzsche, and they weren't very well regarded.

Newton and Leibniz


Can you imagine? All of eternity where Newton is right?!

Captain Metaphysics and the Wizard of Elea


Plus, everyone knows it's a stupid thought experiment anyway.

David Chalmers and the Panpsychists


Once he cut his hair the magic was gone

Captain Metaphysics and the Mereological Monster


Although when you think about it, it's probably still a monad

Captain Metaphysics and the Ghost in the Machine


It's one of the best kept secrets in philosophy departments that most, if not all, metaphysical problems can be solved by punching stuff really hard.

The Best of All Possible Video Games


Leibniz was pretty cheesed off, to say the least, when Halflife 3 launched with decorative wigs that could be bought and traded.
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