The Upbringing of John Stuart Mill
John Stuart Mill: "We should even consider the happiness and autonomy of women and animals"
James Mill: "Surely not women?!"
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The Greatest Happiness Possible
They named him "Utility Monster"
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Desert Philosophy
But it turns out that John Stuart Mill had heat stroke the entire time he was writing most of his major works.
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A Long Term Birthday Problem
Incredible coincidence that these effective altruist/longtermism dorks are always rich white guys living comfortably on the backs of the poorest and most exploited by the system, and they've discovered what is best for the world, and indeed the entire future of the human race, is to continue as is but give like 12% of their paychecks to charity or something.
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Utilitarian Dictator
Also...we should probably ban philosophers that disagree with us, right? I mean we already have it figured out, so that can only cause problems."
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Utilitarianism Party
the problem with maximal happiness is that it's lame as shit
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Objection!
Although Sartre was obviously in bad faith when he said that Nietzsche has a terrible mustache, because come on.
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Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers V: The Battle of Five Philosophers
And that was the day that Utilitarians, Objectivists, Communists, and Egoists all united as one: to kill Nietzsche. And also they told him that their group was really hardcore and didn't allow re-rolling characters, so once you died you had to wait outside and not talk.
Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/77
