Francis Bacon Invents Science
"Wait no, I'm changing my answer, I *empirically observed* how stupid other people's ideas were."
The Philosophy of a Good Party
It turns out that a good party is mostly just a party without Hegel.
The Life of Francis
"You've got to always look on the bright side of life. Because any attempt to deduce the bright of life from reason alone will still rely on concepts gained from prior experience of the bright side of liiiiiife."