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The History of Philosophy From the Perspective of Chicken Enchiladas

Thales, 500 BC: "Wait a minute, what the heck even are chicken enchiladas? They are probably just secretly made of water or something."

Plato, 300 BC: "Chicken enchiladas aren't even real, man. What's real is the concept of chicken enchiladas."

Avicenna, 1000: "You see, God created chicken enchiladas, but he didn't have to. He could have never done it. God is good."

Descartes, 1600: "What if none of this was real? What if we are just being tricked into thinking there are chicken enchiladas by an evil daemon? Although...not that evil."

Leibniz, 1700: "yes, but what if in every other possible world, chicken enchiladas don't exist? Ergo, this is the best of all possible worlds."

Hume, 1750: "what if we woke up tomorrow and chicken enchiladas no longer tasted good? Shit, that would freakin' suck, man."

Marx, 1850: "why can't everyone have chicken enchiladas all the time? I'll tell you why: the bourgeoisie."

Wittgenstein, 1920: "There is no definitive difference between chicken burritos and chicken enchiladas. It's all just words that we agree on."

Camus, 1950: "yes, life is meaningless and short. but hey, chicken enchiladas are pretty dang good, and that's enough for me."

"Actually Wittgenstein there is a clear difference, enchiladas have sauce on top and are eaten with a fork." "Ahhh, well, nonetheless though..."

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