I bet Hegel doesn't even have a very good poodle!
Dungeons and Dragons and Philosophers VI: The Angsty Dragon of Angst
It's better to not even begin playing D&D than it is to play as a Bard.
Sorry! And the Nature of Suffering
It is better to not even begin playing the game, as it will only lead to suffering and misery. Plus, last time I played Hegel ended up winning, even though he totally didn't deserve it.
Schopenhauer was chosen only because he's just really got that mad scientist look. I think it's the hair
Schopenhauer and Hegel
Plus this one time, Schopenhauer was waiting to get into this club for like an hour, and then the bouncer just let Hegel right in, skipping the line. It turned out to be a stupid club anyway because all the girls just wanted to talk to Hegel.