A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

Philosophy Anonymous

Socrates: "Hello, my name is Socrates, and i am a philosophy addict. "

Socrates: "But then again, what really IS an addiction?"
Wittgenstein: "I think it's any compulsive activity."

Socrates: "Ahh, but what is the actual difference between compulsion and genuine willing?"
Wittgenstein: "Well..."

Aquinas: "Alright everyone, settle down, that's enough of that. Wittgenstein, your turn to speak."

Wittgenstein: "I've been philosophy free for five years, but last night i had a relapse. I had some friends over to watch sports..."

Wittgenstein: "I just kept asking them to try to come up with a definition that includes all games and excludes all non-games. Before I knew it I had developed a new theory of language."

Schopenhauer: "I too had a relapse. I was at a restaurant and I overheard someone telling their date that all morality is obviously subjective."

Aquinas: "So what did you do, Schopenhauer?"
Schopenhauer: "I pushed him down the stairs! Ha."
Aquinas: "you...what?"

Schopenhauer: "Yeah, and her too because she was chewing too loud. Wait...this is rageaholics right?"





PERSON: "You...what?"
"Am I addicted to pushing people down the stairs? Well, that all depends, define 'stairs'."

The Philosophy of Humor

Epictetus: "What is the basis of comedy? What is laughter? What is joking?"

Epictetus: "Nothing but scorn for the weak. We laugh because we see ourselves as better. Laughter is a vice, a man of proper stoic virtue does not take part in humor."

Epictetus: "Laughter is a mistake."

Immanuel Kant: "Look, I agree with you, Epictetus, that humor is a mistake and teaches us nothing, but it isn't just scorn. When, after building up an expectation, we hear a surprising twist, it jostles nerves at random which produces a pleasing laugh."

Kant: "I bet i can make you laugh merely by giving an absurd tale which is contrary to your understanding, with no scorn involved."

Epictetus: "Impossible. I have never laughed and i never will."

Kant: "A merchant returning from India to Europe with all his wealth in merchandise...was forced to throw it overboard in a heavy storm and grieved the loss so much that his wig turned gray the same night."

Epictetus: "That is not funny and i will not laugh at it."

Saint Thomas Aquinas: "No, you have it wrong too Kant! Laughter is merely play. We joke to test each other's wit and bring joy, thus it is a virtue, not a vice. For example, say a landlord says the following to a tenant late on their rent:"
Aquinas: "'We appreciate your business, but, please, give us a break. Your account is overdue ten months. That means we’ve carried you longer than your mother did!'"

Aquinas: "He does so to lighten the mood and show a connection between two things, how is that a vice?"
Epictetus: "Because, Aquinas, instead of playful banter he should have used the opportunity to teach a lesson in stoic virtue."

Sigmund Freud: "No, Kant was closer, but the nerves aren't jostled “at random”, it is our pent up deep repressions that are released in the form of laughter. The human mind represses much and saying outloud these repressions causes a release."

Epictetus: "I have no “repressions”, Freud, I live according to nature."
Freud: "Is that so? Let's see if the following joke makes you laugh, shall we?"

Freud: "Penis."

Epictetus: "That's it?"
Freud: "Wait for the punchline."
Epictetus: "Okay...what's the punchline?"

Freud: "More penis."

Freud, loudly: "Peeeeeeeenis!"

Description: Everyone starts laughing.

Epictetus: "HaHahahaHa. Good one Freud. Penis. You got me, that was pretty funny."
What is comedy? It is saying the word "penis" very loudly.

Crazy Christian Eights


Augustine wanted to play Crazy Eights, but unfortunately it seemed as though God had other plans.
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