A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

The Metaphor of Godzilla

actually when you get down to it Godzilla is probably just a metaphor for an even bigger lizard.

Hegel and the End of History

Hegel: "The history of the world is none other than the progress of the consciousness of Freedom, towards the Absolute ideal free society."
Ludwig Feuerbach: "Interesting, Hegel, and through pure reason we can grasp this freedom?"

Hegel: "Our ideas can't come from “pure reason”, each of us is trapped in our moment of history and can only engage in the dialectic of our time."
Feuerbach: "so even when we reach the absolute ideal, we won't know it."
Hegel: "What? No, we've already reached it."

Feuerbach: "What."
Hegel: "I finished the dialectic myself. Philosophy is done."

Hegel: "The ideal free society is a constitutional monarchy with strong Christian ethics."

Feuerbach: "What."

Feuerbach: "So this is it? What about poor working people who are excluded from political life?"
Hegel: "Yeah, but the rabble should be excluded,  they are stupid."

Feuerbach: "What about women? They will never raise their consciousness of freedom?"
Hegel: "How? They are free to obey their husbands now."

Feuerbach: "What about democracy?"
Hegel: "Nah, Democracy sucks, everything is perfect the way it is now."
Feuerbach: "That seems...unlikely."

Hegel: "Also, have i told you my theory about how Germans are better than other races? I used philosophy to discover this, by the way, not racism."
"Also have I told you how 18th century German is objectively the best language? Again, philosophically speaking, of course."

The Philosophy of a Good Party

Francis Bacon: "This party is lame."
Zera Yacob: "But how do we make a better party?"

Francis Bacon: "Can't we just observe what other parties are like, collect data, and analyze what is or isn't good? I saw a party last week with a keg, maybe we should try that."

Zera Yacob: "We can't just blindly follow the creed of others, Francis Bacon, we have to use our reason to find the universal truth of what a good party is."

Francis Bacon: "So what do we do, Zera Yacob?"
Zera Yacob: "We have to create a party which harmonizes with the universal and absolute reason of God, and the world."
Francis Bacon: "But how do we do that?"

Zera Yacob: "We have to figure out a way to make our party comfortable for everyone, so everyone can relax and have a good time."
Hegel: "Are you serious?! Comfortable? Relaxing? You've misunderstood not only parties, but reason itself."
Zera Yacob: "What do you mean, Hegel?"

Hegel: "Reason is not a pure abstraction that can come immediately to the truth, it is a process of refining our concepts towards an ever building idea."

Hegel: "That's why a good party pushes forward the dialectic, it challenges us on the very concept of a party, makes us examine what a party even is."

Zera Yacob: "What are you saying?"
Hegel: "I'm saying we need to get real freaky with it."
Zera Yacob: "Uh..."
Hegel: "What if we all put on blindfolds, and descended into the basement. At random, half of us would be the 'masters' and half of us would be the 'slaves.' "

Hegel: "Then, through the power struggle of obedience and rebellion, we would come to an even  greater understanding of our own self-consciousness."

Hegel, holding up a ball gag and straps: "Here, put these on, and take some coke."

Zera Yacob: "Okay, first of all...no."

Zera Yacob: "And second of all, I've realized that you are disrupting the harmony of our party, lame though it may be, so you are going to have to leave."

Hegel: "You see, this is great, it is all part of the dialectical process, you've given the antithesis to my thesis."

Hegel: "Now we just have to come to a synthesis of our competing ideas, like...what if you didn't have to wear the ball gag?"
Francis Bacon and Zera Yacob together: "NO!"

Francis Bacon: "Carry on with the lame party?"
Zera Yacob: "Yes please."
It turns out that a good party is mostly just a party without Hegel.


Description: two people are sitting down discussing things.
Person 1: "You see, i base my opinions on pure reason, so there can be no mistake."
Person 2: "That makes sense to me."

Person 1: "What's that noise?"
Person 2: "I don't know."

Hegel, bursting through the wall: "HEGELLLLL!"

Hegel: "All reason is dialectical and situated in a historical moment! No one can escape the ideology of their time, and pure reason is a myth!"

Person 1: "But shouldn't we try to use objective, absolute reason?"
Hegel: "Reason is a direction not an absolute form that we can grasp in the now!"

Description: next scene, someone is contemplating on their own.
Person: "All we need to do is set up a society where we make agreements through free contracts."

Hegel, smashing through the wall again: "Without developing an advanced social consciousness we cannot move to a stage in history where free association is peaceful. We can only make progress towards a better society, we cannot describe or imagine its final form!"
Description: next scene, another person giving their opinion.

Hegel, punching through the floor and coming through: "The greatest happiness in life is to have one's desires fulfilled."

Hegel: "Desires themselves arise out of the social conditions in any particular society, so coherently ordering the fulfillment of desires is a futile task!"

Person: "Okay, so what should we actually DO then?"
Hegel: "Dialectics."
Hegel: "Dialectics!"
Hegel, flames coming out of him: "Dialectics!"
Person: "Okay geez, we get it."
History is nothing more than slow process of understanding Hegel

Simone Weils Gives a Convincing Argument

Hegel: "The driving force of history is the dialectical refinement of ideas. History is nothing more than the progress of the consciousness of freedom, and elucidation of science."
Marx: "Wrong, Hegel!"

Marx: "Material conditions are the true driving force of earth. The productive capabilities of a society, and the struggle between the haves and the have-nots, THAT is the real engine of history!"

Weil: "Marx, Hegel, you are both wrong. The driving force of history is something much simpler: force."
Hegel: "Force? Ha! Are you serious Weil?"

Weil: "I think i can convince you both if you hear me out."
Hegel: "What argument could you possibly offer for such a simplistic doctrine?"

Weil, pulling out a gun: "Say that it's force, or I'll shoot you!"

Weil: "say it!"
Hegel, with his hands in the air: "The driving force of history is force."
Marx, also with his hands in the air: "Yes, what Hegel Said!"

Weil: "There, see, was that so hard? Force employed by man, force that enslaves man, force before which man's flesh shrinks away. From Agamemnon, to Genghis Khan, to Hitler, it is not ideas or production, but force that has played the central role, isn't that right?"

Hegel: "Yes yes, that's right!"
Marx: "Spot on!"
Weil: "Good, I'm glad we agree."

Weil: "Now give me your wallets."
Hegel: "How is that relevant to your philosophy?"
Weil: "Say it is relevant or I'll kill you now!"
Marx: "Stealing wallets is philosophy!"
Also...dance a little for me. See? The real dialectic is whoever has the guns makes the rules.

Hegel's Last Words

Description: Hegel is lying on his deathbed.

Hegel: "Come close, my friends... i am dying. These are my final words..."

Hegel: "Only one man ever understood me, and he misunderstood me!"

Hegel's friend 1: "...well maybe you should have explained it better."
Hegel's friend 2: "yeah for sure. it was written terribly, that was the problem."
Hegel's friend 3: "Yeah you should have just explained it normal."

Hegel: "You know what? Screw you guys. that isn't my final quote, it is this: we have reached the end of history. Not because we finished the project of perfecting our ideas, but because the project won't make any progress after I've died."

Hegel: "Because you are all stupid idiots!"
Hegel: "And with that i die."
Description: Hegel closes his eyes and his tongue is sticking out.

Hegel's friend 1: "Hegel we can see that you aren't dead, you are breathing still."

Hegel: "I'm dead! Go away."
"Not a single person can understand me, could it be something I did wrong? No, it's every single person on Earth who is wrong."

Philosophy Booth

Serious historical question though, no joke: did Hegel have groupies?

Hegel and the March of History

Legends say there was a man once who read all the way through Phenomenology of Spirit, cover to cover, but the moment he read the final page he died of exhaustion.

Hegel and Fichte

some people think this comic is educational lol

Kant Goes to Poker Night

"Wait, but isn't stealing also wrong, according the the Categorical Imperative?" "Ah, common mistake, you are applying the maxim too broadly. The maxim of what we are doing isn't 'stealing', it is 'getting one over on Nietzsche', which as you know is not only morally permissible, but in fact a moral imperative."

Pokemon Philosophy

Until the Pokemon own the gym, they will always be oppressed.

Schopenhauer and Hegel

Plus this one time, Schopenhauer was waiting to get into this club for like an hour, and then the bouncer just let Hegel right in, skipping the line. It turned out to be a stupid club anyway because all the girls just wanted to talk to Hegel.

World Cup Philosophy: Germany vs France

For best results, the commentator should be read in the voice of Michael Palin
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