Fyodor Dostoyevsky - Existential Comics

A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

Dostoyevsky Find Other Employment

Dostoevsky as a Therapist:

Patient: "Since my mother died I've been suffering tremendously."

Dostoevsky: "That's good."
Patient: "Because it's part of the healing process?"

Dostoevsky: "No, because we must endure unspeakable suffering in life to fully understand the human condition!"

Dostoevsky as an Engineer

Dostoevsky: "Yes, this bridge is my masterpiece. It is the ultimate symbol of how science can never answer the question of what gives our life meaning."

Person: "How so?"

Dostoevsky: "Well, when people drive over it, it collapses and they plummet to their deaths, for one."

Dostoevsky as a Doctor:

Patient's relative: "What is the diagnosis, Doctor?"

Dostoevsky: "Brain fever!"

Dostoevsky: "And also equally to blame is a deep existential despair that no matter what we do we can never create a perfect world on earth."

Dostoevsky as a Priest:

Church goer: "Father, i feel like I've been having trouble living a religious life, and i need the church to guide me."

Dostoevsky: "The church?"

Dostoevsky: "The church only gives comforting lies to placate the masses into upholding the status quo."

Dostoevsky: "If you want to live for God you must give up all worldly possessions."

Church goer: "That sounds extreme..."
Dostoevsky: "If God exists then you must sacrifice everything for your eternal life, you fool!"

Dostoevsky as a soccer goalie:

Description, he stands still as someone kicks in a goal.

Dostoevsky, to his teammates: "Yes, i let the goal go in on purpose, and yes i know it only hurts myself, but i did it out of spite! We must rebel against expectations to prove that we are free!"

Dostoevsky as an Office worker:

Human resources person: "Do you know why we've called you in here, Dostoevsky?"
Dostoevsky: "Not really."

Human resources person: "One of your coworkers said you threatened to â€œmurder her so hard with an axeâ€."

Dostoevsky: "Yes, but in my defense I'm pretty sure I'm a great man of history, like Napoleon, so the corpses i leave in my wake are nothing compared to my ultimate destiny."

Dostoevsky: "Also she drank the last of the coffee and didn't refill it."

"You are fired." "Ah, perhaps my naive christlike love in incompatible with the sophisticated modern world." "No it's because you are an asshole." "Oh."

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/399

Utilitarianism Party

the problem with maximal happiness is that it's lame as shit

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/236

Terminator: The Simone de Beauvoir Chronicles

All machines are mortal, and each machine's particular death will be at the hand of my double-barrel shotgun.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/139

Snakes and Ladders and the Nature of Virtue

And yes, I know Aristotle isn't a British cowboy. He is an American cowboy who picked up some British slang when he was on holiday there.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/113

Objection!

Although Sartre was obviously in bad faith when he said that Nietzsche has a terrible mustache, because come on.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/107

Philosophy News Network: The Death of God

Make sure to join us at 11 for our shocking exposé on chairs. Do they even exist? The answer may shock you.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/88

Existential Office

Eventually they figured out that Kafka was actually fired years ago, but due to a glitch in the payroll system he kept getting paid. So they fixed the glitch.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/79

Dungeons & Dragons & Philosophers IV: The Interdisciplinary Disaster

The oldest and most intense feud in Faerun isn't between men and orcs, elves and drow, gith and illithid, nor even between devils and demons; it is the sacred and eternal battle between the min/maxers and the roleplayers, which will rage on until the end of time.

Permanent Link to this Comic: https://existentialcomics.com/comic/45

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