The Invention of Philosophy
"What if everything is composed of regret?"
A Presocratic Get Together
But actually Pythagoras was wrong, the perfect joke is made of water because everything is water.
"What was your last cult?" "The Epicureans. It was like 90% just eating pots of cheese though, kind of lame."
But there is nothing in the Stoic doctrine that says you can't celebrate when that over-popular jackass got what was coming to him, so Zeno of Citium partied hard that night.
Hypatia of Alexandria and the Seven Presocratics
Later on, Socrates forgot that he poisoned the apple, and ate it himself. Plato had to make up this whole story about an apology, because it was just too embarrassing.