The oldest and most intense feud in Faerun isn't between men and orcs, elves and drow, gith and illithid, nor even between devils and demons; it is the sacred and eternal battle between the min/maxers and the roleplayers, which will rage on until the end of time.

They sent in a hair sample later, which they had found in the woods, but after the DNA test it turned out to be nothing but a Sasquatch