A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

Captain Metaphysics and the Philosophical Zombie

Plato: "Leibniz, come quickly, something is terribly wrong with Kant!"
Leibniz: "What is it?"
Plato: "You have to see for yourself."

Description: Two identical Immanual Kants are sitting at desks writing philosophy.

Plato: "There are two of them!"
Leibniz: "Two Kants! Good god, one was bad enough. But where did the second one come from?"

David Chalmers: "It is I who has done it, evil David Chalmers! I have made a duplicate of Kant, he is identical in behavior in every way, but there is one crucial difference..."

Chalmers: "He has no consciousness! He is a philosophical zombie! Since you can't tell the difference in behavior, I have shown physicalism to be false once and for all, HaHaHaHaHaHaHa!"

Plato: "There must be a way to tell them apart. Kant one, what do you want from life? Happiness? Love? Fulfillment? "

Kant one: "No, I want to work on philosophical problems."

Leibniz: "Okay, Kant two: A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

Kant two: "Because i would rather work on philosophy, obviously."
Leibniz: "The problem is Kant is already pretty devoid of consciousness. We need Captain Metaphysics."

All together: "With our powers combined!

Captain Metaphysics: "I know how to tell them apart!"

Description: Captain Metaphysics punching Kant one, then punches Kant two.

Kant two: "Owww! What the hell are you doing, that hurts!"

Captain Metaphysics: "The real Kant is that one, because he doesn't like feeling pain."

Leibniz, as they all start beating up Kant two: "Wow, you are right, this is a great way to determine who has consciousness!"
"Yes, but what if the philosophy zombie can't feel any pain, and is only pretending to be a wimpy nerd?"

Philosophy Humans

If the machine ate enough brains of people who understood Chinese, would it understand Chinese?

David Chalmers and the Panpsychists


Once he cut his hair the magic was gone
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