Captain Metaphysics and the Problem of Language
Yes, all problems of philosophy are problems of language, but it turns out that all problems of language are problems of punching, so...
Captain Metaphysics and the Postmodern Peril
Strawman Derrida defeated again!
Stoic School Athletics
Although I bet even the Stoics would be pretty pissed off if they blew a 28-3 lead in the Superbowl.
Captain Metaphysics and the Extreme Skeptic
Philosophical ideas that can be refuted by punching: 1. Moral Nihilism 2. Moral Relativism 3. Scepticism about the outside world 4. Scepticism about causation 5. Denial of qualia 6. That violence never accomplishes anything
Ancient Greek Office
They all laughed, but Thales's bottled water company went on to become a billion dollar empire.
Rebel Without a Constant Conjunction
"Hey Dad, I need some advice on dealing with some trouble I'm in with the Transcendental Idealists." "Son, how many times have I told you not to hang around Transcendental Idealists? Why don't you hang out with that nice Empiricist boy from the church?" "Berkeley? He is such a loser!"
Captain Metaphysics and the Ship of Theseus
You face is suddenly looking a lot like a problem of Metaphysics, Kant.
Captain Metaphysics and the Wizard of Elea
Plus, everyone knows it's a stupid thought experiment anyway.
Captain Metaphysics and the Mereological Monster
Although when you think about it, it's probably still a monad
I gave them name tags because all Greek philosophers look alike. I don't mean that in a racist way...I mean it in a prejudice-against-philosophers way.
Captain Metaphysics and the Ghost in the Machine
It's one of the best kept secrets in philosophy departments that most, if not all, metaphysical problems can be solved by punching stuff really hard.
The Philosopher King
It turns out that Plato's noble lie was that philosophers would make good kings