Kant Goes to Poker Night
"Wait, but isn't stealing also wrong, according the the Categorical Imperative?" "Ah, common mistake, you are applying the maxim too broadly. The maxim of what we are doing isn't 'stealing', it is 'getting one over on Nietzsche', which as you know is not only morally permissible, but in fact a moral imperative."
Until the Pokemon own the gym, they will always be oppressed.
Schopenhauer and Hegel
Plus this one time, Schopenhauer was waiting to get into this club for like an hour, and then the bouncer just let Hegel right in, skipping the line. It turned out to be a stupid club anyway because all the girls just wanted to talk to Hegel.
World Cup Philosophy: Germany vs France
For best results, the commentator should be read in the voice of Michael Palin