A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

983

Nietzsche Gets a Bad Performance Review



Description: Nietzsche is working at an office supply store, a customer comes up to ask him about printers. Customer: "Excuse me, which of these printers is better for a small business?" Nietzsche: "In the world even the best things are worthless without those who represent them: those representers, the people call great men. Little, do the people understand what is great - that is to say, the creating agency!" Customer: "Uh...right..." Boss: "Nietzsche, can i talk to you for a second?" PERSON: "What is it?" Boss: "Well, i just wanted to talk to you about your job performance." Nietzsche: "Ah yes, i know, I've been doing great. I have been teaching the customers how to bear any suffering for greatness." Boss: "Here's the thing, the customers don't come into this store to bear any suffering to reach for greatness, they just come in to find good deals on name brand merchandise." Nietzsche: "What?!" Nietzsche: "Good deals? Name brand merchandise? How can anyone be so small minded as to only seek these things in life? What kind of weak, will-less, sheep do you have for customers?!" Boss: "I don't know... the normal kind."
Nietzsche: "You mean idolaters of the market? They want only petty distractions? They don't want to strive to overcome their humanity no matter the cost?" Boss: "I think they mostly want...printers." Nietzsche: "Oh." Boss: "And I've just been reviewing your sales performance, and it says you've sold zero printers since we hired you." Nietzsche: "Ah yes, but how many have i shown to seek something greater in life than printers?" Nietzsche: "How many have i shown the path to cast off the shallow desires our culture thrusts onto us and to become who they truly are!" Boss: "I mean, it's not in the sales report, but I think it's still zero." Nietzsche: "Dang. But how many have i shown that their morality is based on resentment?" Boss: "Also zero." Nietzsche: "I guess I'll just have to try harder to show humanity the path to the ubermensch." Boss: "Nietzsche, you are fired." Nietzsche: "But you are only firing me out of your bitter self loathing and resentment of my greatness!" Boss: "No it's because you are terrible at your job." Nietzsche: "Oh. Yeah i guess that's pretty legit."
"Yeah, but probably only like...sheep and followers are good at the jobs, when you think about it..."

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Philosophers in this comic: Friedrich Nietzsche

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